Forgive yourself First
April 6, 2021

Forgiveness is one of those terms that is hard to describe in a few words but it’s probably one of the most powerful ways to declutter your emotional baggage. Forgiveness is so effective that it’s the first thing I teach in my program Emotional Eating Solution (LINK). Forgive yourself first and you will transform your life. You can take time to forgive others but forgive yourself first and you will free yourself from so much emotional clutter.

Forgive yourself Coach

I love to tell my own real life stories during the coaching calls in the program because I want the women who are on the journey to see that I am not special, nor have I got any magical powers that make me immune to self flagellation. Sharing stories of decluttering emotional baggage and how I was able to move past being hard on myself helps them see that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

In this week’s coaching call I told a story from my old corporate days. I had been showing my team photos of a business trip I had taken to Tel Aviv, which included a half naked photo of myself, up on the big screen, in the meeting room, in front of everyone that I managed. I was a year into my keto journey and studiously photographing myself to see the progress. My team didn’t need to see that. In fact, they pretended they didn’t. Nobody said anything and we just moved on. Then I went to the bathroom so I could loathe myself in peace*.

The things I said to myself

Up to very recently I still felt the horror of that moment like I was right back there living it. The creeping realisation that this photo wasn’t a moment captured by the backdrop of the Jaffa port looking back at the lights of Tel Aviv. It all happened in slow motion every time I remembered it. 

For weeks after that happened I gave myself such a hard time. “You are so stupid for not checking the photos BEFORE you share them on the GIANT projector”, “How can you be so useless?”, “You are such an idiot, how embarrassing!”. On and on I went berating myself, calling myself names and just really rolling around in it until I properly hated myself for making what, in reality, was an innocent mistake.

Decluttering the memory

When I sat down to think about all of the emotional clutter I had, this memory popped up in all it’s horrific glory. I knew that I would have to forgive myself first before I could move on and let the incident go. After all, I have lots of half naked photos and videos of myself on the internet now! I even have a video of my insides if you’re interested! Watch it here if you dare. 

I did the work on forgiving myself and slowly the emotional clutter of the memory dissipated into the ether and I was able to get on the coaching call and tell all the women in the Emotional Eating Solution program all about it. They got a kick out of it AND saw that despite it being horrific at the time, now it’s a funny anecdote in my program.

That’s ok, I am not blushing any more!!

Now it’s your turn. Think about the thing you give yourself the hardest time for. Really get into the deep recesses of your mind and pluck that sucker out. It’s time to say goodbye to this toxic piece of clutter.

5 ways to Forgive yourself First

  1. Release the negativity

Be honest with yourself about what happened, what role if any you played in it. You can’t forgive yourself if you don’t take responsibility for yourself.

  1. Accept what it is

When you come to terms with the fact that this happened and you cannot change the past, it will help you forgive yourself and release the memory.

  1. Learn the lesson

Girl, the lesson is the hard won prize at the end of any negative experience. You can learn so much and therefore avoid repeating the same mistakes over and over.

  1. Move forward

Don’t chew on it. Keep forgiving yourself over and over every time the memory pops up. Tell yourself that it’s in the past and doesn’t hold any power over you any longer.

  1. Practice Self Compassion

You didn’t do it on purpose. You didn’t do it because you were incompetent, or stupid or lazy or whatever else you are telling yourself. It was a mistake, you have forgiven yourself now it’s time to be kind to yourself.

What Now?

If you feel like you need to dive deeper into this stuff you can join my free Facebook group where you can participate in the free coaching sessions, take part in challenges and join the conversation. You can join it here.

Make sure you’re on my email list so that you can get notified of any of the free challenges I run. You can sign up here.

You can also get started on your own emotional decluttering journey today by downloading my FREE Mindset Reset Mini Course. Click here to grab it now.

*Not actual loathing, for dramatic purposes only 🙂

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